New Book Helps Partners of Sex Addicts

Co-Author Dr. Barbara Steffens' research found that 70% of the partners of sexual addicts met the symptomatic criteria for post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which dispels current practices that treat partners as codependents. or co-addicted. Steffens' research and co-author Marsha Means personal experience provide a guide for healing for those most affected by the destructive nature of their partner's sexual addiction.

Cincinnati, Ohio (PRWEB) November 19, 2009 -- "What is sexual addiction?" This question is often met with humor and misinformation. It is not a "high sex drive" or a problem that occurs when one partner wants sex more than the other. Sexual addiction is a destructive disorder that harms not only the addicted person, but also reeks havoc in the lives of those closest to the addict: their partners. A new book, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal (September 2009, New Horizon Press), by Barbara Steffens, Ph.D., LPCC, and Marsha Means, MA, is helping the estimated 10.5 million partners (mostly women) of addicts in the United States. In it, co-author Steffens reveals her research findings that nearly 70 percent of women married to reported sex addicts meet the symptomatic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder after learning about their husbands’ deviant sexual behavior. This study dispels current practices that treat partners of sexual addicts as codependents, or co-addicted.

“Sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior loom as growing societal problems,” says Steffens, “Exact statistics prove difficult to obtain, partly because there is still no agreed upon name or diagnostic criteria for the disorder.” Easily accessible pornographic material and other sexually oriented sites on the internet are only a couple of reasons sexual addiction is a growing societal problem. Recently, the discovery and admission by celebrities, politicians and religious leaders of their deviant behaviors has brought even more attention to sexual addiction problems. Specialists suggest that between 8-10% of the U.S. population struggles with this addiction.

Only a handful of the 1.5 million mental health professionals in the United States recognize or treat partners for trauma. “There are not many books written to support the partners,” Steffens says, “and most of them are focused on discussing the sexual addiction/compulsion and describing the partner as co-dependent or ‘co-addicted' - someone who is addicted to the addict.” Because there is little empathy for their misunderstood pain, many partners of sex addicts suffer alone, isolated by trauma that generally gets overlooked, ignored, or even scorned if they seek help. “In Your Sexually Addicted Spouse, my co-author and I show partners how to move from trauma and depression to health and hope. We seek to validate and address their pain and give them tools to heal and make sound, healthy decisions.”

Steffens speaks and presents nationally about her research, most recently at the 2009 national conferences of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) and the American a$$ociation of Christian Counselors (AACC). For more information about or to purchase Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal, visit Steffens’ website. At the site there are links and downloads with information to support partners of sexual addicts, and a contact section to sign up to receive Steffens’ blog, Binding the Brokenhearted.

Summary: In their book, authors Steffens and Means discuss the impact of sexual addiction on partners and give important suggestions and strategies for coping and dealing: Barbara Steffens’ groundbreaking research and Marsha Means’ own personal experience provide a guide that ext a positive ray of hope and a healing path for those who are most affected by the destructive nature of their partner’s sexual addiction.

Quotes & Comments: “Barbara and Marsha have created a masterpiece. Barbara's doctoral research has made perhaps the most valuable contribution to the field of study in recent history. This book has challenged my thinking about working with spouses of sex addicts. Spouses of sex addicts are trauma survivors. Much of the chaotic thinking reflects grief and trauma, not character issues or "codependency." The trauma of betrayal by someone who is close to your heart is devastating. Coping with the trauma may be the most difficult type of emotional pain any human being has to cope with. This book combines clinical research, a solid therapeutic model, and a personal touch. This book will be part of our recommended reading at Faithful and True Atlanta.” “…I can't stress enough that this is a must read for partners and those who want a window into partners' souls. Please read this and if you can afford to, give copies to those you know who live in their own isolation and those who try to support them. This has been like a bubble bath with candles and soft music to my soul.” About the authors: Barbara Steffens, Ph.D., LPCC, has worked in agency and private settings providing mental health counseling for more than ten years. A former Vice President of Victim Services of the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families (NCPCF), she specializes in helping women recover from sexual betrayal and speaks nationally on special issues related to partners of sexual addicts. She presently works in private practice and teaches courses at three universities. Barbara and her husband reside in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Marsha Means, MA, uses her training as a Marriage and Family Therapist to help partners of sex addicts find healing through her writing, speaking and group facilitation. An active spokesperson who has lived with a partner suffering from sexual addiction, Marsha is the author of "Living With Your Husband’s Secret Wars" and "Partner’s Healing Journey". She resides in Mazhattan, Mexico.

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal By Barbara Steffens, Ph.D., LPCC and Marsha Means, MA Relationships ISBN 13: 978-0-88282-309-6 $14.95, Paperback New Horizon Press (September 2009) Available at Amazon.com